Paris Hilton is the Gift that Keeps on Giving

And now YOU too can look just like a skanky whore with Paris Hilton’s new designer line. Presenting to all those women out there down on their luck in their search for man meat, we give to you…interchangeable Velcro hair extensions!

Showing off her new line of slip-on fake plastic hair at a Malibu press event this Saturday, Hilton noted, “My goal was to bring myself and my personality into this project. I have been wearing extensions for years, and there is nothing out there like this product. Every woman should have one.”

YES. Paris knows men, and men don’t like bald-headed hoes.

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Somehow Paris Hilton Shopping Takes People By Surprise

Silly Australians–obviously they don’t know anything about Paris Hilton. For future reference, when you invite a clothes horse like Paris in your county, prepared to have all of your malls raped of the most valuable, and stylish selections.

In Sydney to host an exclusive New Year’s dance party, the 27-year-old heir to the Hilton hotel fortune this week drew criticism for spending 5,560 Australian dollars (3,844 US dollars) in a 40-minute shopping spree.

Local charities accused her of callous excess but Hilton Wednesday defended the splurge.

“I’m in Australia, I think it’s important to help out, you know, the economy out here, everywhere in the world,” she told reporters, ahead of her New Year engagement.

Once again, Paris Hilton will always be Paris Hilton no matter where she is. If I was Australia i’d be content with whatever money she indirectly gave back: a night in, near, around, or even just staring at Paris tends to be pricey anyways.

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Paris Hilton Can Be So Harajuku

Sometimes I have to admit that when I see Paris Hilton wearing

Sometimes I have to admit that when I see Paris Hilton wearing clothing as ridiculous as this, I am faintly reminded about all those crazy kids in Japan. I mean, both her and those kids are able to wear clothes that indicate their obvious mental handicaps and still be hailed as “cool,” and I mean that in the sense of a parent that has given up the cause of having their six year old child wear anything outside of a tutu or Superman cape.

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Paris Hilton Should Write the Socialite’s Art of War

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Love and drama is in the air once again for Paris Hilton and her new toy Doug Reinhardt, Amanda Byne’s former love interest.

According to E! News, Paris and Doug hit up Hollywood hotspot Teddy’s on Saturday night where a source says the pair “were hanging out together all night at a VIP table in the back corner with a big group of friends. Amanda was nearby at another table with girlfriends.”

“She was definitely within eyeshot of Paris and Doug, but avoided looking at them,” says the source. “She was trying to keep herself occupied by dancing and hanging with her girls, and made it appear as if she didn’t care about Paris and Doug’s escapades nearby.”

Will Amanda have some sort of breakdown? Hook up with an 18 year old out of spite? Release some sort of sex tape to get even? All of that and more will be answered in the next episode!

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Angelina Jolie in InStyle Magazine

Ahh… The wonders of the internet. If it weren’t for technology, men everywhere would actually have to read through the millions of pages of makeup tips and advice from nuns about how to please a man for someone like Angelina Jolie in a magazine like InStyle. Being that especially for this edition you would have to go to Australia doesn’t make things much easier.

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Eva Mendes Topless in November 2007 Maxim Magazine

Eva Mendes, who just had her movie “We Own the Night” released, is set to appear in the November 2007 issue of Maxim Magazine. In this latest picture spread Eva Mendes is topless and magnificent. However, am I the only one who thinks she’s starting to look more and more like Cindy Crawford?

Anyway, back to the movie she just released this previous weekend, “We Own the Night.” If you remember, within the first fifteen minutes of the movie, Eva Mendes participated in her very own sex scene with Joaquin Phoenix. So, if you haven’t seen the movie yet, now would be a good time. It’s worth it.

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A Day with Megan Fox in Esquire Magazine

Yeah, so it’s practically summer, and it’s only natural that everyone gets you riled up to see Megan Fox yet again on the big screen. It’s safe to say that it’s probably working. However, despite this, it’s important that Megan Fox let’s you know that she may be a bubbling pot of sex, but of safe, disease free sex with a good head on her shoulders.

“I don’t want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson– who I have nothing against,” she says, “but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve every learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.’ I don’t want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard – but I do. And part of it is my own fault.”

“I’m just really confident sexually, and I think that sort of oozes out of my pores,” she adds. “It’s just there. It’s something I don’t have to turn on.”

She may not have to turn it on, but for people who, much to their dismay, have things that need to get done at some point, it would be nice to have an offswitch.

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